Awareness

I wish this feeling would pass. I tried to be optimistic hoping this loneliness wouldn't last. I fear death on me has been cast. I wonder if my life is worth nothing more than trash.

I have this overwhelming fear I can't describe. It constantly finds me though I desperately try to hide. To let go of these feelings I feel everything I've tried. Is there anyone out there into whom I could confide?

Is there anyone out there for me who cares? Does anyone want this love I have to share? My heart and mind continues to tear.

This feeling of despondence seems so very constant; hard to break free from. I cry out but no one comes; while the world is carefree and fun.

I find it amusing, but also confusing the bliss of ignorance. All the while I'm frustrated and tense. No comfort in me found; nobody and no one around. Only my dismal and bleak thoughts abound.

Yet I still dream, that someday the sun will shine down on me and beam; that some day I will be seen. Not so invisible. No expectation of events cataclysmal.

Is there hope? Can I actually some how cope? Is there a place for me? Will that place I ever see? Something deep within holds the key.

When I find it I'll unlock the door. I know there's much more I need to explore. I feel it deep down in my core.

Suddenly someone has appeared. Familiar in appearance she says, 'no need for tears because I'm finally here.

Afraid, prepared to hide for my well being I see something strange. Immediately I wonder if I've become deranged. I'm looking in the mirror. What do I see? It would seem another part of me. She has been released. Looking at me she smiles and tells me 'you have found peace.'

I touch the mirror and the reflection dissipates into thin air. Then only at me I stare. Will that part of me return? So quickly many things I have learned. Also something new I yearn.

To be free. To be free from this terrible anxiety. The door is slowly opening. I laugh aloud jokingly. Feeling foolish I realize that strength resided in me all this time and that it one day I would find. I was once blind. Now I can see. It's time to find my own kind; others like me...